The difference between cats and dogs

Dog's Diary Entries:
8:00 Dog Food!!! My favorite thing!!!
9:30 A car ride!!! My favorite thing!!!
9:40 A walk in the park!!! My favorite thing!!!
10:30 Got rubbed and petted!!! My favorite thing!!!
12:00 LUNCH!!! My favorite thing!!!
1:00 Played in the yard!!! My favorite thing!!!
3:00 Wagged my tail!!! My favorite thing!!!
5:00 Milk Bones!!! My favorite thing!!!
7:00 Got to play ball!!! My favorite thing!!!
8:00 Wow! Watched TV with mom!!! My favorite thing!!!
11:00 Sleeping on the bed!!! My favorite thing!!!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously cognitively challenged!!! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody of him in an elevated cell, so he is safe..... for now.....