Friday WI

So this morning I really didn't want to go to WW. I made myself go because this is how I start down the slippery slope. I do really great for a couple of weeks and then lose my motivation and start to get bored, easily slipping into old habits. That happened this week. The pattern is thus: quit going because I'm afraid of a gain, think I'm going to do better this next week, know I didn't do better this next week, don't go back.

So I decided to bite the bullet knowing that we went out for pizza, not once, not twice but THREE times this week, had birthday cake, enjoyed WAY too many Girl Scout Cookies, etc. So...um...I went anyway and I'm glad I did. It wasn't so bad - up .8, really could have been much worse.

So here I am - back on the wagon and starting a new week!

Lipstick

You know how there are certain smells that can lift you out of wherever you are and transplant you to another place? There is a smell that makes me think of my Grandma - I'm not even sure I could describe it, but I know when I smell it.

Lipstick has a scent to it that makes me think of my mom. It has that distinguishing smell that no matter which brand it is - it seems to always remain the same scent. My mom is "fancy" she has always been a make-up wearer and I admire her because she always looks so nice. She takes care of her clothes and is very neat in appearance (except when she wears her shih-tzu t-shirts - Jeni's got my back on that one).

This morning I was putting on lipstick in the car - this is unusual for me, I'm usually a gloss wearer...and the scent drew me right back to CO - with my mom...standing in the bathroom with her watching her apply makeup. It made me really miss being with my family.

I've been contemplating a trip to Colorado for a few weeks and it's been hard to make up my mind because I don't want to take time off without pay now and then not be able to take it again when John is able to go. But after this morning, missing my family, I think I'll just go ahead and go. It's been a year since I've been there - it's definately time.

All that from a tube of lipstick.

Life lessons

In the spirit of changing things in my life, there's an area I've been working on for some time, but need to allow God to work on it too.

My new job has challenged me in the area of being judgemental. I have always had the desire to be "right" and have shoveled out advice when it wasn't requested and/or needed, and have been quick to have the right answer for someone even when it's none of my business (which of course is most of the time). My job has really challenged me - I cannot judge the women who come in for our services. Sure, I probably have some ideas/truth that could save them from being in the same position again...for example, they could practice abstinence. But my knowledge isn't what they need - they need love. And learning this at work has pushed me to thinking of how I can apply it to my own life.

Don't get me wrong here - I'm not saying that they should receive love without truth - but I am realizing more and more that truth spoken in love should come directly from the Lord, not from whatever ideas I may have gleaned in life ( I know - duh - but sometimes I am a slow learner). Sure - life experience can give you all kinds of advice of what works and doesn't work, and it's not bad to offer it to someone who is asking for help. But what I'm talking about is coming to conclusions about a person based on decisions you see them making.

Our pastor spoke yesterday about the great compassion God had for the people of Nineva. Did they deserve God's compassion? - not according to Jonah. And he was right - they were a wicked people who didn't seem interested in change. But when they did hear the truth, they repented, the king repented and the entire city including the animals fasted.

Guess what? I don't know people's hearts or intentions, nor do I know what might happen if I show them love and speak truth to them rather than thinking I know everything that they should do? What if I listened to them and offered a sympathetic ear rather than waiting for them to quit talking so that I can speak what's on my mind? What might happen if instead of doling out advice with my voice or in my head, I prayed for them and loved them the way they were, and asked God to give me the right words for when the time came to speak God's truth (and not Stephanie's)?

Could this day be any better?

I am smiling.

It's a great day!

1. My brother is on his way home from Afghanastan. It's a long "drive" but he'll be back sometime in the next two weeks.

2. It's John's birthday (his 30th - he's SO old)

3. John got finished with training today and is now "official"

4. I lost another 4 pounds...that's right...you read it right

5. It's Friday

6. Some of the grants and proposals I've written for Girl Scouts are resulting in big donations - though I'm only there super part time right now, I'm pretty proud of that!

7. The sun is out - it's gorgeous

8. It's John's birthday (his 30th - he's so old)

9. The sun is out - it's gorgeous

10. Seriously...does it get any better than this? What a blessing!

God = Dentist?

CS Lewis once said "What do people mean when they say 'I am not afraid of God, because he is good?' Have they never been to a dentist?"

I like this quote - and having been to the dentist four times in the last six weeks, I can relate. Most of the time I don't want to go to the dentist. The cleanings are great - the dental hygienist often remarks on how my gums are in good shape and generally doesn't have to work too hard to get the tarter off my teeth. This is just surface cleaning and does not take very long.

I often don't want the exam - you know the part where they look deeper into your teeth, not just on the surface, but beyond to the root of the tooth? - because there is almost always something that has to be fixed. There will be a filling that needs replaced or worse I'll need a crown - or maybe it's something small like a filling they forgot to polish. Whatever the case is, it's going to cost me time and money, and it's going to hurt.

Isn't that somewhat similar to how God deals with us? Sometimes the cleanings (every day stuff) feels good and you are thankful you took the time to deal with the fuzzies on the surface. But when you go in for an exam, and allow God to really deal with the root of problems and the places that are hurting - that's when it begins to cost you.

But it's worth the pain. Always. Here's the good news - pain brings healing. Our God doesn't just fill cavities with silver or porcelain, but he fills them with HIMSELF! Praise God.

James 1:2, 3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

My thoughts AIG

By now you've probably heard about AIG and the huge bail out they got from our government and the fact that they are now planning to give millions in bonuses to executive employees. People are all up in arms over them using the bail out money (tax payers money) to pay the contractual bonuses.

I agree - it's ridiculous that they are planning on using some of the money as bonuses. But you know what's even more ridiculous? The fact that they even GOT the money to begin with and the fact that the Obama administration did not research what contracts were in place before they were handed billions of dollars.

Those are my two cents.

WI Results

So yesterday was the big WI (weigh in) for the week at WW. And I lost 4.6 pounds...yay! I just really hope this is the beginning of a successful journey and not another rabbit trail...in fact - I hereby declare that it isn't a bunny trail and is a successful journey.

so there.

the bench

John and I have been looking for the perfect little bench to go in our "entryway" (that's really our kitchen) to hold all of our shoes and other random things that end up piled by the door. In Alaska, it's a real issue figuring out where shoes can get piled as everyone takes them off when they come in the door.

John volunteered to make us one since we had searched everywhere for a bench that would fit and had some function. I was pretty skeptical of his furniture making skills. He has remodeled all kinds of things in our house, but I just wasn't sure how he'd come up with an idea for a bench. I needn't have worried. He built a beautiful little bench out of wood he'd scrounged from pallets and other discarded lumber.

I learned a lot about staining in the process as that was my job. I remembered seeing my dad using a rag to stain, but had never tried it myself. Now I know that a little really does go a LONG way and I'll remember that for next time. I still need to stain the buttons and glue them on, but we're almost finished!

So - without further adieu: the bench!

Confessions of a winter eater

So yeah...winter. It's the time of year that I like to eat whatever makes me feel better that I can't be outside rollerblading, or biking or playing. I feel sorry for myself...and this year more than ever, it's showing on the scale.

barf.

So - here's my report. I'm back at Weight Watchers, and so far so good. I went back last Friday and had the shock of my life...but am back on track. I'm blogging about it hoping for some accountability. I know you're all dying to know how it's going. So - I'll report in on Fridays to let you know how weigh in goes. Not actual weight of course...just pounds lost/gained. hopefully lost.

For some reason - getting out and moving has never been a problem for me...it's that darned eating. And since we have to do it to stay alive...I guess I better kick this while I'm still relatively young.

Anyway...those are my confessions for all of my *many* readers.

Daylight Savings

Go AWAY!

We don't need you in Alaska.

Thoughts - long and maybe boring and mostly all over the place

I have been thinking of a post that might be a bit “un politically correct” and I have been brewing on it for a while because I wanted to be careful about how I worded what I wanted to say. Recently I have been thinking a lot about our economy and the way our president and legislatures would like to fix it by spending more money and making it easier for Americans to continue living in the buy now- pay later (or never pay) mentality we’ve gotten ourselves into. Our “I want it now regardless” attitudes have brought us into this deficit, and I have some thoughts on why we’re there. I believe the economy is just a mirror of the spiritual deficit our country has – they go hand in hand. We have a buy now pay later outlook on morality and on our relationship with God.

I sincerely believe that we have come to the place where we are in the United States both financially and morally because of families without fathers. One of the ways that we have bankrupted our children is by making it easy and socially acceptable for a woman to raise her children without a father.

I am of the mind that children should not be punished by the sins or bad choices of their parents. Unfortunately, I have no answer as to how to help children without perpetuating the cycle their parents fall into. One example I know of where society has made it easy for this cycle to continue is the Denali Kid Care program in Alaska.

I want to be clear that I don’t have a problem with this system for families that need it temporarily or for those that truly cannot afford another way to provide healthcare for their families. My issue lies with how easy we have made it for single women to continue having children because they know they have so many social systems in place.

For those of you outside, DKC a very generous program that pays for services such as: doctor's visits, health check-ups & screenings , vision exams & eyeglasses, dental checkups, cleanings & fillings, hearing tests & hearing aids, speech therapy ,physical therapy, mental health therapy, substance abuse treatment , chiropractic services, foot doctor's services, hospital care, laboratory tests, prescription drugs, and medical transportation. DKC doesn’t cost for eligible children, teens and pregnant women.

Denali Kid Care is meant to be healthcare so that people who do not have medical insurance (or have very little coverage) can be sure to have healthcare for their families. I don’t have a problem with that. What I mean by the program being generous is that a family of five can make up to $4,521 (gross income) a month and be eligible for the program – that’s $54,000 + a year (or about $26/hr). Receiving free healthcare for pregnancy and for children while making $26/hour is pretty generous – would you agree? I’m fine with that. If the state can afford it – I think it’s great.

Here’s where the rub comes in for me – people know the system in and out.

1. They know that if they remain unmarried the income of their significant other does not count and they are eligible for more benefits. So instead of getting married, they remain uncommitted.

2. They know that they can have as many children as they want as a single woman and never feel the discomfort of trying to provide for their children because they have so many services available to them. This perpetuates families with no fathers.

3. They know that these services are “free” (at least to them but not to society, or to tax payers) and expect other things in life to be free too. They are floored that they might have to pay for their children’s clothes (gasp- not everything is free) and are shocked when they see how much it costs in kindergarten to get your kid the supplies they need. “You mean I have to pay for other kids stuff?” I actually heard a mother say that about the list of school supplies for her kindergartner that included buying enough of some stuff so that kids who couldn’t afford it could have supplies. This mother was accepting DKC for both of her children (both were born out of wedlock).

Our country rewards single parenthood. I won’t even try to touch WIC and other social systems. We have perpetuated the problem that has brought our country where it is today. Statistics show that children from fatherless homes are :
• 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide.
• 6.6 times more likely to become teenage mothers.
• 24.3 times more likely to run away.
• 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders.
• 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institution.
• 10.8 times more likely to commit rape.
• 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school.
• 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager.

And yet we make it increasingly easier for a single mother to raise her children alone (and at least from my own observation mostly without any kind of male influence) and continue the cycle.

What is the answer? Prayer – for children, for women who are making decisions to be sexually active without considering not only the physical consequences but the spiritual and emotional as well, for men to rise to the standards of sexual purity that God has laid out for them.

We need to quit apologizing for our stance on sexual purity and the importance of family and stand firm in what God tells us in HIS word. God is not a God of rules and regulations, but of love. And His commands regarding sexual purity are all about protecting his children. All of them…from those recently knit in the womb to those entering the next century of their lives.
I was kind of all over the place there, hopefully there is some sort of sense to be found in this. Just curious about what others are thinking.

Mullets and Irish dancing, what gives?

My friend’s little girl, Sydney, was in an Irish Dancing show at the Wendy Williamson this weekend. I’m so glad she told me about it, because the dancing was incredible. I have always enjoyed bands like the Corrs,(I know – probably not authentic, but certainly enjoyable) etc., but I’ve never experienced music and dancing like this. I loved it and was happy with the long show and the great price - only $15 can you beat that?

A guy from Anchorage won some top honors at world competitions doing Irish dancing and he was in Anchorage to perform with the dance school that Sydney attends. I was so amazed at him – the kids from the dance school were really good, but this guy was just over the top. The best way that I can describe this type of dancing is to compare it to a mullet.

You see – a mullet can be described as business in the front and a party in the back. Irish (or Celtic whatever you want to call it) dancing is business from the waist up, and a party from the waist down. I mean these people really make their legs do crazy things that should not be possible…and yet somehow they force their legs to become like jello bending in ways they shouldn’t. Incredible. It sort of makes me want to take a class or something. Or at least think about how cool it would be if I could do that.

Saturday fun

I ended up having to work all day on Saturday. I picked up some people who flew in from Juneau for a meeting I had to attend, and then we headed over to the meeting venue for the day. It wasn't so bad, I took notes and helped with some of the meeting, but since we only have Saturday's off together right now - it was a total drag to spend my "day off" working. This too shall pass... but in the meantime, this phase has been hard on us. I know it will be over soon (hopefully by the end of next week) and I keep holding out for that.

My PT gig for for Girl Scouts will end in a few weeks and that will really lighten up my load and then we just have to hope that John gets a somewhat decent schedule. That could be a pretty big hope! It seems like him working nights would be the best for our little family, he can sleep while I'm at work, and then we'll have the whole evening together.

In other news...I want a puppy...a terrier of some sort. I'm drawn to Norwich terriers, but also like cairns, and am open to suggestions. I want something that I can walk, that doesn't shed and that is small enough to be okay in our little house.

We decided to visit a new restaurant that just opened up near our house called Spenard Roadhouse. What a great place - the food was very good, and the decorations were fun too. We went with John's parents, and at first conversation was very difficult because it was so loud - but after a table full of women left, conversation was much easier! I'd highly recommend it!

That's all my oh so exciting news for now!